What I've Lost
by The Lazy Medi-Wolf
Summary: Samuel gives up on Mercy but really he loves her. The loss of Mercy brings up memories of his first and most painful loss- his one true love, his soulmate. The memories hurt, reminding him of his greatest loss, but can they lead him home?


Samuel tossed and turned in his bed, his body twitching. His dreams, memories from his childhood, memories long forgotten, memories best left forgotten.

_Cranberry red hair glittered under the mid-summer sun, warm chocolate eyes glittered with a smile that graced a pair of full lips. Ciara laughed as she urged her blue roan gelding to run faster, her long hair dancing behind her in the wind. He laughed and urged his mare faster, determined to catch her._

_She won, her stead beating him to the well by a full minute. She always won, the gelding was a full two hands taller than his mare so it wasn't surprising. Ciara was lounging on her steeds bare back when he and his mare arrived. She just laughed at the look on his face._

"_It's not my fault you always take the bet, knowing you'll lose." She said, her voice high and sweet._

"_You know just how to needle my pride, I can't refuse." He quipped back, sliding from his mare and letting her drink her fill. He lounged in the grass and smiled when she dismounted and joined him. "What do you want for winning this time?" He asked her._

_She smiled and said nothing, just laid back in the grass beside him._

"_Tell me," he encouraged. "You always want something." Usually she made him do her chores for her- mending clothes, tending the sheep, anything she just didn't feel like doing that week. He never minded. His Da was her Da's best friend. They were close as brothers and he had been her friend since she was five and he was eight._

_She just smiled the smile that made his heart beat a little faster. "You can owe me," she said, "I'll think of something later."_

_Worried he leaned on his arm and looked down at her, "Are you alright?" He asked her, placing his free hand on her forehead, testing for a fever._

_She blushed and shook her head, "I am well Samuel, just… not sure what I want to torture you with this week."_

_He leaned closer to her and smiled his most charming smile, "You're such an odd little thing recently," he said softly._

_She scowled, taking insult where he had meant none. "I am sixteen now, a woman. Perhaps I am just growing up. You ought to try it sometime." She shifted out from under him and bounded atop her gelding. She looked even smaller when riding him when she did on the ground. Perhaps it was because she was very small, not even reaching his shoulder, and her gelding was so very big- easily 17 hands at the shoulder._

"_Ciara, I'm sorry," he said but she was already riding away, her shoulders set and her back straight as an arrow. Samuel sighed and fell back against the grass. He KNEW full well she was sixteen, damn it he had known for a while. Since her unique scent didn't bring to mind family gatherings by the bon fire but instead dark things one does at night, in the privacy of ones tent with ones wife._

_He quivered, he was not yet used to wanting the girl who had all but been his sister as a man wanted a woman. Vibrant and playful she had wormed her way into the portion of his mind that was dark as well as the lightness of his heart._

_He sighed and stood, stroking his long, tanned fingers over his strawberry roan's face, "Come on Firefly," he said softly, mounting her though he was slightly too big for her, "Let's go home."_

Samuel woke with a start, the buzzing of his alarm cutting through his exhaustion and dreams. He showered and dressed, all the while trying to forget the dream, trying to banish the bright chocolate eyes and the laugh that made his heart ache. Perhaps she was why he had taken such a shine to Mercy… Mercy reminded him of Ciara, of his first love. She was sneaky and unafraid of causing trouble, just like Ciara had been. But Ciara had a smooth way about her, she could talk her way out of trouble with the best of them, and talk her way into trouble just as easily.

He walked into the ER thirty minutes later and was assaulted by the stench of blood and death. He calmed his wolf, who was already on edge because of his disturbing dreams, and began trying to make the best of a day that was on its way to being a doozy.

Fifteen hours later he curled up in his large bed and wished for a warm body to curl up with. Without meaning to his mind conjured up the image of a beautiful woman, her cranberry red hair splayed across his pillows, dark eyes looking up at him, clouded with sleep, lips curled into a beautiful, welcome smile.

He shivered and banished the image from his mind but not before it made his heart twist with longing. "Why now?" He whispered, "Why does she return to haunt me now?" But he already knew why. Because Mercy, who so reminded him of her, had refused him. And the ache of that refusal awoke the long buried ache of Ciara.

Every time he lost a loved one, a mate or a girlfriend or a wife, every time it woke the pain of his first loss, his greatest loss.

He let his wolf take more control, letting it protect him from the hurt, and with it there to keep the mans thoughts at bay he slid into sleep.

_Ciara refused to speak with him at dinner that night, she sat with her Mother and they whispered back and forth softly. He sat with his Da, annoyed by his knowing smile and the twinkle in his eyes._

_Samuel wandered the small village of tents, his anger and annoyance making sleep impossible. The soft whisper of the wind through the reeds and against cloth masked the soft foot falls until they were nearly upon him. He turned and was startled to see Ciara, her eyes downcast and her shoulders slightly slumped. "I'm sorry Samuel," she murmured, "I know you didn't mean to upset me."_

_He smiled slightly at his small friend before draping a very muscular arm across her small shoulders. "It's alright, I'm not angry." And he wasn't, hadn't been at all, only annoyed and worried. "You know you can tell me what has been bothering you."_

_He saw her smile slightly, her lips hardly turning upward but it was enough, he knew they were alright again. "It is… It is difficult to say." They stopped walking, resting under a large tree a good distance from the village. "It is a little embarrassing."_

_He laughed, "Tell me, I am sure I can relate." And he probably could, better than most. He was the only one close to her age. The youngest member of the village, after them, was almost ten years her senior._

"_Have you ever… felt something for someone…?"_

"_Felt what?" He asked softly, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Friendship? Companionship?"_

_She shook her head, her dark hair fluttering about like a cloud of rubies. "No. More… more than friendship. Have you ever… wanted to… to kiss a woman?"_

_He wanted to scowl, surprisingly upset at the thought of her wanting another man, instead he smiled and said in a comforting way, "You … you want some one. Want to be with someone? It is perfectly natural Ciara."_

"_Do you feel like that about someone?" She asked softly, leaning slightly back against his chest._

"_I do not see how it would be any of your business," he said softly, afraid of telling her the truth for fear of her reaction, "but yes. Yes I do."_

"_Mother said sometimes… sometimes those we care for actually care for us as well. She said she loved my Da before they wed. That they were in love and he asked her father for her hand." She looked up at him, the expression in her dark eyes hidden by the darkness of the night. "Are you going to ask for the hand of the woman you want?"_

_There were a few near by villages, many of which were home to a good number of young women. Answering would not give his desires away, he decided. "Maybe," he said, "if they care for me also." He didn't stand a chance, she was too beautiful, and she saw him as an older brother. But… perhaps he would tell her, one day._

_She shivered and he pulled her closer, shielding her from the night air. "You should not be out in so little," he said into her hair._

_She raised her shoulders in a dismissive motion, "I saw you walking and wanted to talk to you. I did not think about the wind."_

_He smiled and looked down at her. The pale blue night gown was knee length, baring her calves to the elements. He noted she was barefoot. He laughed, "You did not bother with stockings or shoes either?"_

_She just giggled and wrapped her cold, bare arms around his waist. "Like I said, I did not think it through." Her new position brought her chest against his, her cheek rested against his breast, just above his heart. It was intimate, not at all proper, but she had initiated it so Samuel let himself enjoy it._

_They lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts. But the silence was not oppressive or uncomfortable. He noticed as she pressed her nose against his chest and inhaled, she said nothing and he chose not to mention it, considering he had been taking deep breaths, reveling in the smell of her hair. When she yawned he realized how long they had been standing there. The sliver of moon had traveled from the horizon to be nearly overhead. "Come," he murmured, guiding Ciara toward the village, "It is late. We both need to sleep."_

_She nodded mutely and padded quietly beside him as he guided her. They reached her tent long before he was ready to leave her side but he pulled his arm from her shoulder. "Good night Ciara." He turned to leave but before he could take two steps away her small hand wrapped around his wrist. He stopped and turned, a question on his lips. Before he could voice his concern something soft and sweet pressed against his lips._

_He groaned as Ciara pressed her lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. Before he could respond she pulled away, attempting to turn but he caught her face in one large hand and pulled her back to face him. He pressed his lips against hers and threaded his fingers into her hair._

_She gasped against his lips and then returned his kiss, her lips moving against his. Sweet and chaste the kiss made his entire being burn like a bonfire. He quivered, not from the cold because he could hardly feel it, but because he was suddenly filled with desires he couldn't understand. He closed his teeth gently over her lower lip and she groaned softly, it was not a sound of pain._

_His tongue wandered, of its own accord, into her mouth, meeting and dancing with hers. She tasted sweet and sharp and more intoxicating than the strongest of drink…_

Samuel woke with a growl, his hand violently meeting the buzzing alarm clock. He groaned in disappointment, wishing the dream/memory had continued. While he remembered the memory up to when the dream ended, but the rest was blank. How did the night end?

He looked down his body at his raging erection. He scowled. That was a problem he had not had in a long while. He tried to ignore the problem, instead he thought of his music, of the old songs his Da had taught him, he tried to remember every note. The exercise had an effect, but not the desired one. His erection did not disappear but his mind conjured a voice, soft and sweet, rising with a violin to sing the song he was remembering.

He stood and cursed his rotten luck. So he strode as briskly as he could into his bathroom and stepped under the warm spray of his shower. Nothing he thought of, not even his Da nude or Mercy doing the deed with Adam, could rid him of his erection.

He grinned bitterly, he had not resorted to masturbation to rid himself of an unintentional erection in a long while, having acquired great control over his long life. With an annoyed huff he closed his hand over his erection and opened his mind.

_The moonlight filtered through the trees and ghosted across her bare skin, making her look like a goddess. Ciara rose above him, sliding down his length for the first time, guided by his big hands on her pale hips. She cried out quietly, her eyes closed against the pain. He stroked her face with one hand, murmuring soft, loving words. He strained to stop himself from moving._

"_I'm sorry Ciara, I'm sorry." He murmured, kissing her palm and threading his fingers into her hair._

_She shook her head, her hair brushing against his thighs. She relaxed slowly, sliding herself further down his shaft. He groaned, fighting to prevent himself from thrusting up to met her. When he was fully sheathed in her she braced her hands on his chest and slid her body upward._

_As she slid back down his hands grasped her hips and his control broke. He pulled her downward, thrusting up to met her. She gasped, her eyes wide and he groaned in pleasure. "Sorry," he bit out, quivering with his need to try it again._

_She shook her head and rose upward again, "God do that again," she whispered. So he did. She cried out and he had to bit his lip to prevent himself from doing the same. They picked up a rhythm, a slow rise and a rough, quick return. Without much warning Ciara quivered all over and clamped down around him, her muscles rippling._

_He roared and something inside him burst. He quivered all over and his world became a thing of sound and color. Finally he returned to himself and he found Ciara still atop him. Her head in his shoulder, her breath short and rapid. She quivered every few minutes, her heart rate -which he could feel it in his own chest, echoing his own- slowly returned to normal._

Samuel groaned as the memory released him. He washed himself off and leaned heavily against the tiled wall, panting. He closed his eyes, trying to remember how the memory fit with the others, how long between the first kiss and the first time they made love. The memories were fuzzy, but the emotions… the emotions were stronger than they had been since his time as a human. He loved her… still loved her… had probably always loved her. And no woman he had ever been with had made him feel so… out of control, so consumed by emotion.

He growled at himself in anger and stormed from the shower to dress and go to work.

The next morning, after waking from another dream of Ciara, Samuel called Bran. "What is wrong Samuel?" Bran's warm, soft voice asked as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Da, do you remember Ciara?" He asked, knowing his father, like he, usually avoided thinking of the past.

"Of coarse I do Samuel," He said patiently, "She was your first love, from when you were human."

"You were close to her father." He prompted.

His father sighed, "Yes, Charles and I were good friends. He was…" Bran hesitated and Samuel knew the memories hurt him too. "He was like a brother to me."

"So he knew, about you." Samuel asked sharply.

"Yes," Bran answered quietly, "Yes he knew about me, from the beginning, and he accepted me… us."

"Is that why he refused to let Ciara and I marry?" Samuel asked, reliving the memory his dream had brought him.

Bran sighed, "Why the questions Samuel?"

Samuel sighed angrily, "Every time I lose someone I remember her, her face, a shadow of my feelings for her. They make the loses… somehow hurt less. As if because I've already lost and lived without her… I can survive anything. But… since Mercy chose Adam…"

"Ahh," said Bran, his voice full of understanding, "And of all the women who you have loved she is the most like Ciara."

Samuel smiled, finding some solace in the knowledge his father saw the similarities too. "Yes, and I have been… I've been remembering… at night, instead of dreaming."

Bran sighed, "So you wish to know if what I was had a factor in why he refused your request for her hand."

Samuel nodded, then realized his father could not see him and said, "Yes, I have to know."

"What I was, and what I wanted you to become, was a factor in why he refused you." Bran said softly, his voice far away, as though he were remembering a long forgotten memory. "Charles came to me and asked if I planed to Change you. I said I wanted to, but it was your decision in the long run. He said you had asked for Ciara's hand, I was not surprised, I knew the two of you had become… more than friends." Samuel smiled, his Da's voice let him know he was smiling.

"He said that Ciara's biological mother, who if you remember died giving her life, was a very… powerful women. And Ciara… Ciara was holding a very powerful magic in her. He felt that his daughter could not be Changed. And we both agreed that… that you would not be pleased if she died trying to Change for you. And that if you knew then you both would refuse it and you would die a human.

"Charles didn't want to force me to lose my son. He… We … we were wrong to do so but we decided that he should refuse you and leave, taking her with him." Samuel felt his free hand tighten into a fist, his knuckles paled and his nails bit into his palm. "We were trying to protect you, but now I can see we were really trying to protect ourselves. He… he explained to me what would happen if she were to bed you. That there was a chance your souls would bind. Her mother's people claimed it was a way to bond soul mates. You two loved each other so much we… we were afraid you were that sort of couple."

"And where is the problem with that?" Samuel asked with a growl, ignoring the blood that dripped slowly from his palm.

"Samuel…" Bran sighed, sensing his son's rage. "Samuel stop being so stupid and clean up your hand." Samuel jumped and looked down at his hand, noticing the bloody crescents left by his nails. He padded into the restroom and ran his hand under cool water. "Good," Bran said. "Now if you must know it would bind the two of you, if she were to attempt the change and die then you would either die or go mad. And if you were to attempt the change she would eventually age and die and then you would still go mad or die."

Samuel laughed bitterly, "You should have let us marry then," he snapped, "Because we made love the night before they left. Snuck away, made love, and then bathed in the river before sneaking back. And I'm not insane so she obviously wasn't my soul mate."

Bran was silent for a long while, "Sam… tell me you are not serious."

"Of coarse I am. She was my first. I can still taste her, hear her cry out as she came." He said bitterly, sharing more with his father than he normally would.

Bran cursed softly, "Samuel I know you. She was, without a doubt, your perfect match. She completed you."

"What are you saying Da?" Samuel growled, "Just spit it out."

"You two were soul mates, are soul mates. You are over a thousand years old, and though she should be long dead, and you thus long dead also or long since gone crazy, then she must not be dead." Bran said slowly, thinking his words through.

Samuel quivered, "No… No Ciara is dead. Has been dead for a long time, Da. Don't… don't say such things." But his mind was racing. Could he ignore the possibility… could he ignore the chance that she was still alive… still his? He looked sharply at his laptop. No, no he couldn't ignore that chance. He had to know.

"I'll have Charles start looking, if she's out there we will find her for you." Bran promised, knowing Samuel would have convinced himself to hope.

Five years later Samuel had not found Ciara. Charles had found her family genealogy, it said that her mother's line ended with Ciara, but her aunt had three children, all of whom had children and so on. Ciara had still living relatives out there… But aside from those family members… there was no mention of Ciara anywhere since her birth.

So Samuel chose to go to Miami, where Ciara's last living relatives, a twenty two year old Psychology Graduate student and her six year old cousin who was her ward, lived. The young woman's name was Kara, the child's name was Samantha.

He stepped off the plane and turned on his phone. Immediately it rang, playing "Animal I've Become". He had a text message. His father left a text that said that the woman worked at the University she attended, teaching "Introduction to Psychology" to undergrads. He checked the listed class times. If he hurried he could catch the end of her first lecture.

"This class will be kept very basic," said a familiar voice as Samuel slunk into the lecture hall, "the information is easily obtained, over half of the test material will come out of your text and the articles on the E-reserve. The rest will come from my lectures. Please be sure to note if you do not attend my lectures you will likely not finish this class with an A, or even a B. But I am NOT a babysitter, you are all old enough to make decisions about your time and your grades and I will not take roll." There was a collective exhale amoung the students and Samuel fought a grin.

"But if your grade is low at the end of the semester and you want to earn extra credit you and you come to me I will laugh you out of my office. Five times during the semester- at random- I will pass around a roll. I will use those five rolls as a means of giving extra credit. The exact number of points will be decided at the end of the semester." She looked at the clock on the wall and smiled, "I'll let you go fifteen minutes early. Trust me, go and get the book while you can."

The lecture hall was suddenly full of noise as the students, most of them hardly out of high school, fled. Samuel remained and eyed the woman. She looked very like Ciara, frighteningly like Ciara. Her hair was cut short, just brushing her jaw, but it was the same color- highlighted with a dark brown or black. Her eyes were not brown but bright, bright blue, but her lips were the same shape, and she was build the same- slender but graced with ample curves in all the right places.

"Mama Kara," said a soft, happy voice from the front row, "Are we done now? Can we go home?" A little girl, her bright blonde hair held in pig tails, bounced from a hard plastic seat, holding a small backpack.

Kara laughed, her laugh high and musical and sweet, exactly like Ciara's laugh. "Yes Sammy baby, we're heading home." The child bounded to Kara, who Samuel was half convinced was Ciara, and pounced on the woman. The redhead shifted the blonde child so she was piggybacking the small girl.

"YAY!" Cried Sammy.

Samuel fought a smile. Kara scooped up her shoulder bag and started up the stairs, toward the main doors. Her blue eyes found Samuel's silhouette and she smiled, "Can I help you? Did you come in late? Do you need a syllabus?"

Samuel smiled softly, "No, I'm not a student." He said softly, watching as 'Kara' walked toward him, noting that she moved exactly like Ciara had. "I'm here because I'm looking for someone. Are you Kara O'Kelly?"

She nodded, smiling, "Yes I am. And you are?" She came along side him. He looked her in the eyes and smiled. He noticed she was wearing contacts. He inhaled and he could smell her nervousness.

Ciara scooped up her little ward and headed up the stairs. She noticed a young man leaning against the wall by the doors, seemingly waiting for someone. Since she was the only one left she assumed he was waiting for her. "Can I help you?" she asked, hoping that if he meant her harm her direct comment would startle him into leaving her alone. "Did you come in late? Do you need a syllabus?" And maybe he really was a student who needed a syllabus, everyone wasn't always out to get her. It just seemed that way after over a millennia of bad experiences.

She couldn't quite make out his features but she could tell he had shaggy hair, cut carelessly and a strong jaw. "No I'm not a student," he said and her heart clenched. He sounded so much like her Samuel, his voice laden with the old Celt accent of Old Welsh. "I'm here because I'm looking for someone."

'He can't be my Samuel, Samuel is dead.' She thought

"Are you Kara O'Kelly?" He asked.

She fought a quiver, "Yes, I am. And you are?" She asked, nodding and offering him a reflexive smile.

"My name is Samuel." He said and her heart stopped. She finally got a look at his features. His face was slightly rugged, his eyes a little widely spaced and deeply set, his mouth slightly too wide, and his nose a little too big for good looks. But his eyes… pale grey blue, like the sky just before a light summer rain.

"Samuel?" She asked softly, her mind racing and her heart suddenly restarting to beat faster than an Irish gig.

"Samuel?" She asked in a strained voice, pronouncing his name as his Ciara once had (Sam 'el). Her heart racing wildly. He watched and she shook herself slightly "Well it's nice to meet you Samuel, but I've got to run. Sammy here needs to be gotten home and it's a long train ride." He could smell her nervousness, her joy, her deep sadness.

He grabbed her arm and smiled charmingly, "Let me drive you home Ciara." He said, pronouncing her name correctly.

He felt her quiver under his hand and the little girl on her back said, "Mama Kara, he said your name funny. Do you know him?"

He smiled at the little girl, "I knew Ciara a long time before you were born Sammy." The girl blushed and giggled, hiding her face in Ciara's back.

Ciara stared at him like he was a ghost, "Samuel… You… You're…"

He smiled bitterly, "A werewolf," he supplied with a little humor in his voice.

He watched her quiver but he could not smell fear, only longing. "So about that ride?" she asked playfully.

Samuel walked into Ciara's fairly large two bedroom apartment. As far as he could see it was furnished with Ikea purchased, nice but not expensive, but it had splashed of color and vibrance in small items from cultures all over the globe and throughout all time. He watched as Sammy ran into her bedroom to put her things away.

He helped Ciara by playing with Sammy, the little girl was ecstatic to have a playmate and accepted him into her ongoing game of house immediately. He heard Ciara laugh quietly when Sammy announced what he could be- the pet doggy.

He nodded, accepting his new role but Ciara called from the open kitchen, "Sammy, baby, I think he's more a wolf than a doggie. Doggies are tame, wolves just put up with life as a pet because they love you. And I doubt Samuel could ever be called tame."

Sammy laughed and clapped, "Okay, Samuel can be my wolf!" Samuel just laughed and smiled, playing along, keeping the girl busy while Ciara made dinner.

Fourty minutes, when Ciara called, "Dinner time you two," Samuel found he and his wolf were completely at home. He stood, scooping up the giggling little girl, and carried her over his shoulder into the kitchen. He dropped her into the chair that had a place setting set without a knife and looked up at Ciara.

She had taken out her contacts, her chocolate eyes met his gaze and she smiled lovingly. "Thanks for helping me with her Samuel."

He was suddenly filled with an irrational urge to protect her from every terrible thing in the world- her and her charge.

"Your eyes are ice white," she commented softly, "Are you alright?"

Of coarse he was, he thought, his wolf had just claimer her, his apparent soul mate, as its mate.

He just smiled, controlling the urge to kiss her senseless, "I'm fine." He looked at the table and smiled, noticing the steaks, mash potatoes and vegetables. "This is great," he murmured, noticing she had made more than enough for just two adults and a child.

She slid into her seat as he did and she asked, "It's enough, right? I remember hearing wolves eat a lot."

He nodded, "There won't be left overs, but yes."

Samuel tucked Sammy into bed himself but after snuggling into her covers she asked for her "Mama".

Samuel found Ciara walking from her bedroom holding a backpack full of text books, which she set onto the table. "She's asking for you," he said softly, smiling down at his beautiful Ciara.

She smiled, "Why don't you settle down, I'll be right out." She strode quickly to Sammy's bedroom and half-closed the door. He didn't need to slink to the door to listen to the conversation. He closed his eyes and listened.

"Mama, will you sing for me, PLEASE?" Sammy was begging.

"Always," promised Ciara, "What should I sing?"

"The Cinderella song!" The girl said, Samuel could just see the smile on her beautiful face.

"Alright, alright. Settle back into bed and I will." He heard the sheets rustling ad the girl did and she was asked.

"I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man. It wasn't any secret I'd be asking for her hand. I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself, with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf." Ciara sang softly, and Samuel smiled, letting her sweet, soft voice wash over him. She sang as beautifully as he remembered. And now he knew why his father had loved to listen to her sing, even to his enhanced hearing she was… perfect.

"She was playing Cinderella, She was riding her first bike. Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight, running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin. Dancing with her dad, looking up at him. In her eyes I'm Prince Charming; but to him I'm just some fella, riding in and stealing Cinderella." Samuel found himself drawn to the bedroom, lounging against the doorframe, watching his beautiful mate, because she was his, even if it had been over a thousand years since he asked her to be his, and the child that was now theirs.

"I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one, when I heard a voice behind me say 'Now, ain't she something, son?' I said 'Yes, she quite a woman' and he just stared at me. Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be…"

Samuel realized he knew the song, that he'd heard it before. He joined Ciara as she sang the chorus. Both of the rooms occupants looked up at him, startled, but Ciara's voice didn't waver. "Playing Cinderella, Riding her first bike, Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight. Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin, Dancing with her dad, looking up at him. In her eyes I'm Prince Charming; but to him I'm just some fella, riding in and stealing Cinderella."

Sammy curled up into her bed, her eyes, which he noticed with a start were the exact same color as his own, slowly sliding closed as her breath began to even out. Samuel walked into the room, his feet hardly making a noise as he did. He pulled his Ciara into his arms and held her while they sang the last verse to the half-asleep little girl.

"He slapped me on the shoulder, Then he called her in the room. When she threw her arms around him, that's when I could see it too… She was Playing Cinderella, riding her first bike, bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight. Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin, dancing with her dad, looking up at him. If he gives me a hard time, I can't blame the fella- I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella."

Samuel led Ciara from the sleeping girls room, closing her door so it wouldn't wake her. He caught Ciara's arms and puller her to his chest and pressed his lips to hers sweetly. He felt her go tense for a moment and suddenly his confidance was gone, she no longer felt the same. He pulled his lips from hers, attempting to step away but her fingers wound into his hair and pulled him back to her.

She pressed her lips to his fervently, pressing her body along the line of his. He groaned in relief and pleasure, wrapping his arms around her slim body. To his surprise she closed her teeth on his lower lip, as he had done to her so very long ago. It was his turn to groan against her lips and she smirked, pulling her lips from his.

"Gods I've missed you Samuel. Papa wouldn't tell me why he said no, he kept saying he'd explain later, and then he died and when I came home… you were gone." She pressed her face against his chest and inhaled, apparently relishing in his scent. She laughed, "You smell a little different," she said, nuzzling against his chest.

"I am a werewolf now," he quipped, taking a deep breath of her scent. He laughed, "You smell the exact same as always." He traced his fingers along her jaw, "and I've missed you as well."

She yawned and looked past him to the kitchen table and her books. "I really ought to study," she murmured.

Samuel laughed, "Don't your classes start next week?"

Ciara nodded, "Yes but it takes a lot, raising a child alone, teaching to pay for my classes, going to my own classes, and working a second job to pay for food…"

Samuel smiled, "Well then I suppose it's good I found you. Don't worry about money, I've got more than enough. And I'll help you with Sammy."

Ciara scowled up at him, "I can do this all on my own you know." He nodded, he knew she could, but she didn't have to anymore. But he felt the anger drain out of her, "I'll tell you what, since Sammy is part yours you can pay for half of the apartment, half of the grocery costs, your share of the utilities, and you can look after her when I can't. Sound fair?"

Samuel looked at her blankly, "She's… part mine?"

Ciara nodded, "Yes… well… My Da didn't tell yours?" She sighed, "I suppose He didn't really have time. He died just after he figured it out."

Samuel growled softly, "figured what out, Ciara start talking sense."

She just smiled wistfully, "I was pregnant, nine months after our one night together. I gave birth" Samuel felt faint all of a sudden, his knees became weak and he sunk into a near by chair.

"You… we… I had a child?" He whispered.

She blushed, "Technically we had two. Twins, both strong, healthy boys. I named one after you Da and one after mine." Samuel pulled Ciara into his lap and pressed his lips to her shoulder.

"I should have been there," Samuel whispered angrily, "Damn our fathers for keeping us apart."

Ciara smiled sadly and pressed her lips to his. "Samuel… if things had gone differently… I would never have had the experiences I've had, and neither would you." She threaded her fingers into his hair and smiled down at him, "Would you really have traded the life you've lived to watch our twins grow old and die? To watch our grandchildren and great grandchildren and all the rest be born, age and die?"

Samuel sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't know which he would choose.

Ciara stroked his face gently, "Even I couldn't take watching them die when I didn't age or change. I've been returning to spend a decade with the family but I've been wandering since… since our great, great grand-daughter, Milia, died giving her husband twins, who died a week later." Samuel sighed and pressed his lips to her cheeks, kissing away the tears that fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I wish you hadn't needed to go through that alone."

She smiled wistfully, "Samuel… I was never alone." He winced, not wanting to hear about her other lovers. The wolf snarled angrily, making him want to prowl around the apartment, or drag Ciara to her bedroom and fuck her until she couldn't even remember their names. "You were always with me," she whispered, "Because I knew you loved me, and I loved you."

He looked up, startled, "What?"

She smiled, "You've always been with me, in my heart, in my memories. I was never alone." She stood and groaned, "Are you going to help Sammy and I under my terms or not? Because if not I need to study so I can go to work tomorrow."

Samuel smiled and tugged Ciara into his arms. "I'll be whatever you need me to be," he murmured, "I'm going to be here for you from now on. Under one condition."

She looked up at him, her eyes full of trust and love, she nodded, "Anything."

"Marry me," he whispered. She laughed and kissed him and it was answer enough. He scooped her up bridal style and carried her into her bedroom, closing the door behind them with his foot. He spend the next few hours showing her what he had learned. Once they were spent, as he lay sprawled beside her with his lips pressed against her throat and his arm draped over her bare waist he growled, "Mine."

She smiled, kissed his forehead and whispered, "I have been since the day you kissed me you idiot, and I always will be."


End file.
